russelled jimmies
by parmadillos
Summary: [prompted] A comment from Buttercream gives Russell a nightmare.


Anonymous: If you're asking for ideas, I have a one-shot: Buttercream says something about how great it would be if there were two of her, and Russell has a nightmare about a thousand Buttercreams. Mass simultaneous "whatgasm" is a must.

* * *

Russell nodded at each item as he checked it off his clipboard. The water bowls were decontaminated, the hazardously pointy pencils unsharpened, and every toy in the day camp in its properly designated position of disuse.

It was hard work, bearing the sole voice of responsibility. Russell, however, accepted this task without thought (and without the opinions of the more rebellious pets). Thanks to his constant supervision, his friends were always able to have their fun in a safe and timely manner.

They could be a lot of trouble, and secretly the hedgehog was glad that he had only a handful of them to deal with.

Looking up from his completed checklist, Russell realized that there were no other pets in the room. It'd probably be wise to locate them—he had no idea how long it'd taken him to get through his list today, and disaster manifested quickly when the group lacked his guidance.

After he found them, he could indulge in some Pokemon. One badge remained before he'd be able to challenge the elite four.

"Hey guys," he said, ducking into the next room over. Huh. Nobody in there, either.

"Zoe? Sunil? Penny Ling?" Russell tried a few names, on the chance that his friends were hiding.

The hedgehog almost became worried before he noticed that, in the silence, the shrill voice of Buttercream Sundae clearly sounded from the little hole connecting their stores. The sweet truck wasn't parked, which meant that Sugar Sprinkles wouldn't be there for Buttercream to talk to.

He ducked through the opening.

"Haha, wow, took me a minute to…" Russell began, breaking his sentence to gasp in horror at the incredible mess of batter laid before him. "What are you guys _doing_?"

Buttercream, who was undoubtedly the ringleader of whatever was happening, sat atop a stool in front of the mixer. She clapped at the arrival of another neighbor; unfortunately, one paw held a mixing spoon, and the rapid movement sent a flurry of dough straight into Russell's face.

"Oh, Russell! What a superdy-duperdy sprinkalicious surprise!" Buttercream commented from her perch. "Didja wanna join in on my yummy bakedy funny hour?"

Russell wiped the batter off of his face, and visually swept the room.

Minka could be seen putting things in the oven that probably were not intended for baking. Sunil had her by the tail, trying to recover some object of his that the monkey apparently wished to bake to perfection (along with a lamp and some grass).

Zoe and Pepper were in a far corner of the pantry, adding every ingredient twice as they refused to accept that they were working on the same cake. Each time one went to grab an item, the other threw something in the mix.

Vinnie and Penny Ling's session appeared uneventful, as the panda had taken over any duty that she'd foreseen as important. Vinnie just snuck the occasional handful of dough.

Buttercream dismounted her stool and flittered about the teams of pets, offering pointers. Russell deduced that she was attempting to coach them.

Everybody was an enormous mess. "Look at yourselves! All of you are going to have to clean up before your owners get here!"

"Lighten up, Russell," Pepper chimed from the back. "A couple layers a flour never hurt anyone!"

A chorus of "Yeah Russell, who cares?" and "Don't worry about it, Russell," echoed throughout the pets.

"I'm sorry bo baary that I've made a mess of your sprinkle dinkle friends," Buttercream had made her way around the entire room, back to where she'd begun. "I'm trying my sugar dugar best to help all of them, but there's only one of me!"

Russell sighed. "No, that's okay, Buttercream. It won't take too long to hose them off."

"I'm glad you aren't angry with me, Russell Bo Bustle! This sure would be oodles easier if there were two cutaloochious Buttercream Sundaes, though!"

He took another glance around the room. "Try three. Or five."

"Or twenty!" Buttercream giggled. "Or maybe a hundred? A thousand!"

"For one bunny, I think you do your job well enough." Russell wanted to play on his DS. "Do you mind watching them for a while longer? I've got something I need to get done."

Buttercream waved a paw. "No problem, hedgy wedgy hog! We'll just keep baking our yummy tummy cakes!"

"Thanks!" Russell squeezed through the hole in the wall and crossed into the play area. He'd been waiting for an opportunity to take on the last gym leader all day.

Reclaiming his handheld game from where he'd hidden it since its last usage, the hedgehog collapsed into an armchair and turned it on. He had pokemon to fry.

* * *

An hour later, Russell was beginning to feel tired. His pokemon just weren't strong enough. He rolled over and let his DS slide to the floor.

He'd been dropped off at the day camp particularity early that day, so he'd been up for longer than he usually was without napping. Russell struggled to keep his eyes open. Maybe he should see if Buttercream had finished her confectionery lesson.

With that thought, the bunny in question materialized before him. Russell blinked.

"Silly vanilly Russell, were you off playing your smoosha toosha video games?" Buttercream inquired with a smile.

"I, uh…" Russell shifted into a sitting position and scooted to kick his electronic under the chair.

"Russell Ra Smushel, I think you dropped a whopped something!" he heard her say as his game was handed back to him from a hand near the floor.

"Thanks," he responded absentmindedly. It didn't seem like Buttercream was annoyed with him for leaving her to watch the other campers while he was off messing around.

"Are you guys done with your baking?" Russell asked.

Buttercream leaned in from the hole in the wall. "Sugary sure!"

"Didja wanna try some?" she said from his right side, pushing a platter up to his face.

"I'd just be a boosh careful about trying Minka Da Linka's!" Buttercream warned from the left.

"Hahaha, yeah." Russell yawned and rubbed his eyes, regaining focus. Wow, there sure were a lot of Buttercreams today. He followed that train of thought, coming sharply to the realization that there had never been more than Buttercream.

"Woah!" He recoiled, creating a rip down the plush of the armchair with his spines.

"What's the matter batter?" a line of Buttercreams asked as they filed into the room.

The hedgehog sank further into the ruined chair. "Has science gone too far," he choked out.

"Not far enough," Buttercream placed her paw on his shoulder from where she sat beside him. "Cakes may never fly." she explained sadly. The Buttercream in his lap wiped at a few stray tears.

"Augh!" Russell exclaimed, jumping up. The rabbits flew backwards onto the tiles. They picked themselves up and started walking towards him again.

Russell curled into a spiky ball, launching himself in the direction of the doorway. He never made it. A sea of Buttercream bunnies flooded the room. His spines prickled a few of them, and they politely requested him to be more careful in the future.

The Buttercream level rose to the point that Russell could touch the ceiling. Buttercream peered at him from the air vent. "Join us."

"_What?_" Gasping, the hedgehog realized his error too late and brought his paws up to cover his mouth.

Pressed against the dry wall of the roof, Russell was deafened by the terrifying "What?" resonation of a thousand Buttercream Sundaes.

What followed felt like an earthquake striking the pet shop. The windows shattered, but a wall of Buttercreams from the outside prevented the inside Buttercreams from spilling into the streets. The foundation of building was shaken from its stands. It did not collapse, for the entire surface world had been dominated by Buttercream Sundae.

The Buttercreams who had not been within hearing distance of Russell's initial "What?" picked it up from the Buttercreams who parroted him. It was a never ending cycle.

Russell shook, bracing himself for the second wave...

* * *

"Russell!"

The hedgehog kept his eyes squeezed shut.

"Get up, tubby!"

He didn't want to see any more Buttercreams.

"Russell, we are not knowing where you have hidden the bath soap."

The hedgehog regarded the Indian accent with confusion. That wasn't Buttercream. None of those voices had been Buttercream's! Russell sprang up, overjoyed to see his friends.

Pepper and Sunil took a step back, alarmed at their friend's excited stature from just being woken up. Russell ran and gathered them in a hug.

Over their shoulders, he saw her.

"Silly vanilly Russell, were you off playing your smoosha toosha video games?"

Russell screamed.


End file.
